HOSTESS, THE HO HO IS ON ME

A couple of weeks ago Hostess Brands called it quits. There was much talk of the demise of the Twinkies. My first reaction was "Good grief do people still eat that junk?" I honestly don't think I've ever eaten one. I do recall eating a Hostess cupcake. My parents never allowed that sort of thing on the ranch. Want a sweet? Go eat an orange. Although, I was put upon as a kid for this at the time I'm actually quite grateful to my parents. There is little doubt in my mind that their ban on junk food has allowed me the excellent health that I have experienced in my nearly 64 years.

I was quite smug in my thinking no great loss that, unless of course you were an employee. Well, I found out that that the Hostess bankruptcy is going to have a profoundly unhappy impact on my lifestyle. I love sourdough bread with a passion. I probably eat a loaf a week all by myself. The absolute best sourdough bread is Boudin but no chance to get that where I live. I do have found memories from when I lived in San Francisco and would go to the bakery at Fisherman's Wharf and buy it still warm. Gads, but that was heaven.

This week when I came off the mountain to pick up supplies at the grocery I had a most unpleasant surprise. The bread section is always on my list. Since I have no chance of getting Boudin Sourdough my substitute is Coeur d'Alene Cracked Wheat Sourdough. I've really grown to love the stuff. This day when I arrived at my mecca the shelves were nearly bare, not just of my beloved sourdough but of nearly every kind of bread. Turns out the bread delivery the store was using was ..... Hostess. No more Hostess no more bread.

I was told there would be bread next week as the store was making arrangement with another distributor but Coeur D'Alene sourdough would be no more. Worse yet I know of no place within a hundred miles to get it. The replacement will be Seattle Sourdough yuck! Be sure to read this review.

So, you see, the ho ho is on me!

©Kinsey Barnard

MONTANA DOGS

A friend sent me this joke and it made me laugh out loud. Since I truly believe laughter is the best medicine I hope it does the same for you!

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale’

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk? ' he asks.

'Yep, ' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what 's your story? '

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA.  In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. '

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn 't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.’

‘I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. ' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I 'm just retired. '

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars, ' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap? '

'Because he 's a Bullshitter.   He 's never been out of the yard '