09 February 2012

DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE ESPECIALLY IN MONTANA

An old prospector shuffled into the town of Garnet, Montana leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance -- Never really wanted to"

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody standing around was laughing.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge shotgun barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said; "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir -- But I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for all of us here:

*Don't be arrogant.
*Don't waste ammunition.
*Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
*Always make sure you know who is in control.
*And finally, Don't screw around with old folks -- They didn't get old by being stupid!
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

2 comments:

Dave said...

It's a very bad idea to mess with old people. They can't beat you, so they will just shoot you.

Dave said...

PS, have you ever been to Garnet? It's in the mountains above Potomac. It's said that you cold go from one side to the other underground, using the mine tunnels. I've seen one or two of these and I wouldn't go more than a foot inside one.

There were something like fourteen saloons and one church there at its heyday. Now it's a state park, I think. When I was there, it was just a ghost town.